Who wouldn't see the appeal in being a little more ruthless about playing the game? The collective dating app fatigue, as people exchange the same well-trodden facts about themselves and bump into the same profile photos over the years, has already taken much of the romance out of these often transactional proceedings. Next month marks ten years of Tinder, and in that time many of the people still hopefully swiping have found themselves ghosted, catfished, breadcrumbed, lovebombed, and most commonly of all, going around in circles.
But perhaps engineering the way we mentally approach dating is the only way to keep up with the algorithm relentlessly throwing matches our way. Turning the search for The One into a productivity-optimised iCal entry might feel a little Black Mirror. “You don't sacrifice your precious evenings, it's easier to arrange, and you can usually tell in the first minute if you fancy them or not,” he said in a short message, perhaps to make a point. Ben, let's call him, is a big believer in going for a brief coffee before agreeing to a whole date. If a vibe check before taking a big punt on someone sounds a little unromantic, then maybe people have been burned too many times to feel taking a risk is rewarded. Cutting things short and doing a coffee or walk in the park as a pre-date that’s low-key and affordable removes the expectations.” “Spending £50 on dinner you don't enjoy when you don’t have time to see your friends, I think we’re realising, is a bit of a joke. “There is a realisation that time is money and people want to protect their time,” Alice says. In addition, one in five people aged 18-34 said they were more likely to set themselves a budget for dating than at the beginning of the year. The dating app Bumble has seen an increase in low-key dating, with data commissioned through YouGov this week showing nearly half of Gen Z and millennials preferring date locations that are cheaper in place of a lavish dinner or hefty bar bill.
This, though, may be changing for the next generation, with research showing that younger generations are breaking the taboo surrounding money and shaking off the stigma of splitting the bill or discussing earnings. “Now I think it’s shifting toward dating that feels in line with our own financial circumstances, prioritising yourself and your time, and not giving into these expectations we’ve been taught about how you have to date.” “Years ago a friend of mine ended up going quite significantly into debt because he felt this pressure to pay for things or even go half at the most expensive restaurants,” agrees Alice Tapper, a behavioural economist, debt advisor and finance writer.
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